sometimes you do get the apology

Have you ever had a person you really care about hurt you? A break between friends where for some reason one of or both of you give up and go your separate ways? I've had my share of messy partings but it's always interesting to see what the power of a year can do. Twice this year I've had people that had quite seriously wronged me seek me out to set things right. One friend had gone cold towards me and cut me out of his life entirely (for no reason whatsoever) and the other had taken advantage of our friendship and been verbally abusive to me. Both came out of the wood works in the past two months to set things right. It's interesting how people always act like nice guys (or in my case girls) finish last because it's not true. If you put forth the effort to be a good person people notice; it might take 6 months, 1 year, or 4 years for people to fully realize that they were unfair to you but whether they do or don't isn't the big picture. As long as you do your best to be kind and fair to others then you'll have no regrets, and heck sometimes you do get that apology that you deserved.

Guys suck

I hope that noone thinks that I'm too bitter of a person when they read my entries but my blog is my outlet to complain about the injustices in the world and the things that flat out tick me off. Todays topic is the most common theme in what i write about stupid boys. I am sick of the hypocrisy, arrogance, and selfishness of the male gender. Story number one has already been discussed on here, refer to "heartless jerk". Turns out he's not the only guy that feels like treating me as less than a lady.

Guy number 2. He's just a friend, but he decided that I'm only worth something if someone more exciting isn't around. I hadn't seen him in a long time and was really excited to hangout with him, however if there was a girl that was shorter and cuter than me in the room i was instantly ignored. She'd leave the room i was almost visible again, she entered the room i was pond scum once again. I really hate it when guys play this rather slimy game, not everyone plays it but many guys do.

example #1 There are multiple girls in the room, the flirty 5'2 girl with big boobs is the only person these boys see.

#2 I am the only girl in the room, I am female therefore i will get flirted with and treated like a female.

Many guys claim to treat ALL girls like ladies and in most cases this is a falsehood. The tall girl will almost always be treated like a guy.

example #1 The short girl trips and gets a scratch; the world is ending, she needs cpr, the guys will go pick her up and stick her on their laps to console her from the trama of the scratch.

#2 The tall girl's arm gets cut off; the guys will talk to her like a guy. You got cut? Toughen up. You got cut? Cool. Did it bleed bad?

So we've looked at guys that use you, as in "Heartless Jerk", and guys that are your "friends" that treat you like a guy. What about that supposed "nice guy"? The guy that likes you but you've made it clear you want to be just friends, what about him? Isn't he an exception to the rule? No.

Theres this guy that I've been friends with all year and he's told me several times that he likes me. I have kept this strictly as friends and after what he did the other day I'm glad i have. I invited him to dinner at my place, very platonic, just dinner. He comes over and goes straight into my roommates room to go flirt with her. He goes in, hugs her, picks her up, and just starts flirting hardcore with my very much TAKEN roommate. Not sure what this was about. She was just being her friendly self and i had no issue with her. At dinner he chooses the chair near her room and leans it back so he can continue to flirt with her. Our food is getting cold and I'm waiting for him to face me so we can pray. He doesn't. He continues to keep his head in her doorway and uses cheesy lines that he had previously used on me, these lines i had once viewed as genuine sentiments not the recycled sludge they were. The only reason he finally did turn around is because the roommate finally told him to. He's a big boy and can flirt with who he wants but that shouldnt magically turn his friend who is doing him a favor invisible.

To heck with guys I'm gonna become a mormon nun.

I have pretty legs

Story of my life! I'm sorry I only like short girls, you're too tall, you're cute and all but too tall for me. First of all I happen to like my legs, I think they're pretty. Nextly of all any guy who banks his masculinity soley on his height is a pansy. I know I'm not 5'2 and I'm dangerously opinionated but I refuse to be a quiet little mouse or pretend to be something I'm not. Next guy that tells me I'm "too tall" gets a fat lip.

Fun mixed with sad

So spring break was pretty sweet. I stayed in St. George with some friends for the up coming wedding of a friend of ours. I got to ride on the back of a motorcycle for the 1st time, I got to go swimming, and just hang out. I was however disappointed that one of the friends i was most excited to see was kind of ignoring me. He seemed to be excited to see and interact with everyone but me. He didnt full out ignore me he was just cold and distant towards me. This really hurt. ..........oh well

Heartless Jerk

As mentioned in a previous blog of mine I've only ever been "in love" once. I deeply cared for this kid like crazy. When he got back from his mission we finally pursued something between the two of us. We dated for like 3 weeks. I was twitter-patted and I never get twitter-patted. I was comfortable with him and I KNEW he cared about me. Or at least he had 2 years ago. When we started seeing if a relationship was the way to go I got a little worried I loved him I knew that but I was worried that the only reason he was with me was because I was convenient. When he got back I was right there, he knew that I cared for him, he wasn't stupid. However he decided to play with it a little anyway. I asked him what we were and what we were getting ourselves into. I didn't want to be pulled around like a toy. If his feelings didn't match mine then I was fine with going back to just being friends. Then the creep pulls me in and kisses me to reassure me of his feelings. What he was really doing was assuring himself that he had a little playmate to release his selfish hormonalness on. He wanted someone to cuddle and kiss and he wanted to assure himself that he would have that. That he could have his play time while he searched for someone that he really wanted. I dedicate this poem to him. Please understand before you read it that when I say "friends with benefits" and "whore" I mean the mormonized version of it. I mean he wanted someone to cuddle with and kiss no strings attached. Even a month and a half later he offered to be "friends with benifits" because he is a creaton. He kept trying to present it like it was for me, "Well I know that you still like me so if you want we can be friends with beneifits, as long as you understand that's what it is", wow thank you I'm so flattered to know you think so cheaply of me. That you think I would be interested in meaningless affection to appease your horniess, NO THANK YOU.

You only think you love me

cause I'm convenient.

You only think you love me

cause I'm right here.

You only think you love me

cause nothing better's around.

You only think you love me

cause you're selfish.

You only think you love me

cause you don't want to try anymore.

You only think you love me

cause I'm right here.

You only think you love me

cause you're hormonal.

You only think you love me

cause you want someone.

You only think you love me

cause you're a jerk.

You wanna play with my

heart a little more?

I'm no friend with benefits

and I'm not your whore!

Get out of my life!

Get out of my heart!

You're not welcome here anymore!

Your touch used to mean

something special to me.

But it's all full of your lies.

So get out of my heart.

Clarification of feelings

So people are weird sometimes. I'm kind of fascinated by people that constantly feel the need to remind you of their marital status or their feelings for you. I'm going shopping later cause I have a girlfriend, I can't watch a movie with you guys cause I have a girlfriend, I can't breathe the same air as you.....cause I have a girlfriend. I'm pretty sure these guys are cousins with those that constantly tell you that you're a sister to them. I could never date you you're like a sister to me. You look hot today but you are such a sister to me. And then theirs those that make reference to you like you're already theirs. You know what I like about you? You have brown eyes, just like my other girlfriends. Here wear my jacket, all my other girlfriends have. The mention of "other girlfriends" has ironically been used on me by people that I very much was not dating. Why would you clump me together with your "other" girlfriends if I'm not dating you? People that feel the need to clarify themselves make me laugh, probably because I know i do it too.